

This is so true of many people.
I was a professional game developer for two decades. I was never formally trained, I am completely self-taught.
I must break things apart and build them up from the individual molecules, in order for me to understand things.
When I learned trigonometry in school, or should I say when they attempted to teach it to me, it flew over my head like a flock of birds. I could understand none of it nor could I understand any of the reasons.
When I started to develop an obsessive passion for programming when I was around 14, and I needed to figure out how to shoot a bullet out of a cannon at a certain angle and break down the components of motion into x and Y… I felt like I invented trigonometry myself in about 3 hours.
People are weird and everybody approaches things differently. I could see myself beginning to Intuit calculus concepts with a game, but at the same time I think it’s such a specialty ask that it’s not realistic.
A desktop that was not designed by a programmer with a side-interest in UI, but an actual qualified designer.
And before you reply and tell me I just need to try whatever flavor you like: it’s a piece of shit, don’t bother me.